Despite barely knowing anything proper about Mr Netanyahu, I do know this. He has my favourite name in the history of anybody ever. It's great. Say it to yourself. Enjoy the feeling as the iambs of the surname trip off your tongue. Revel in the entertaining contrast with the formal 'Benjamin'. Maybe even go a little crazy and finish it off with a joyous 'Yahooo!'. Say it again. Now. And smile to yourself.
Now add to the resounding pleasure that you are experiencing the knowledge that Mr Netanyahu's nickname is 'Bibi'. Yes, that's right. A former Prime Minister of Israel - for that is what he is - is known to friends, family and the world at large by the cheerful moniker 'Bibi'. When you consider that Israel is a pretty bad-ass place to be in charge of, what with all that Palestine kerfuffle, you have to admire a man who sternly takes the helm, turns to his first mate (countries have first mates, right?) and said gruffly 'I'm Benjamin. But you can call me Bibi.'
Aside from his name (which I may have mentioned is bitchin'), I can only conjure up a few further facts ubout this juggernaut of a man. So, content in the knowledge that libel cannot be enforced on private, not-for-profit ramblings of idiots (I'll check that with a lawyer, but I'm probably fine), here is everything you need to know about Benjamin 'Bibi' Netanyahu.
- Benjamin Netanyahu has the second largest collection of marbles this side of the Gaza Strip.
- He also has the largest collection.
- On both sides of the strip. He also doesn't like to boast about it.
- Benjamin Netanyahu once famously challenged Margaret Thatcher to a thumb war, and won four games to three.
- Sometimes, when he's thirsty, Benjamin Netanyahu has a cup of tea.
- When he was four, Benjamin Netanyahu asked a Rabbi why god allowed terrible things to happen. The Rabbi told him the answer, and then swore him to secrecy. Benjamin Netanyahu has never told anyone to this day.
- Benjamin Netanyahu looks like the kind of man you wouldn't mind turning up on your doorstep with a broken-down car and asking to use your jump-leads.
- Benjamin Netanyahu knows that 'Leviathan' is the Hebrew word for whale.
- Benjamin Netanyahu possesses my favourite name ever, and I thank him for that.
Next week, I will be writing something different. This weekend, I will be enjoying myself. I may even see some of you then.
This blog is produced in association with the Indie Supergroup Buried in Pompeii. It is written by Dan.
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