So, stupid writing will recommence as and when I feel more cheerful and ebullient. In the meantime, I will leave you with these cryptic and fiendish puzzles (that I'm making up as I go along).
1) Complete the sequence : 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, ... ?
2) Which is the odd one out : African White Rhino, Black Hawk Down, Grey's Anatomy, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...?
3) If John lives next to Fred, and Mabel is married to John's sister, and Fred doesn't live in a house with a red door, then who owns the parakeet?
4) Who told you you could do it like this?
5) Spell 'parliamentarian' incorrectly, in 25 different ways.
6) 'Facetious' is one of two words in the English language that contain all the vowels in the correct order. The other is 'abstemious'. There is no question here. Move on.
7) Skip to question eight.
8) Using your answer from question seven, explain why x =340 and y = sausages.
9) Go and call the nearest person a 'spatch-cock', then hit them with an old shoe.
9) The number of this question is the same as the number for the previous question. Discuss, with diagrams.
10) You failed to pay your income tax. Return to question three.
